Direct or Indirect in Communication

People communicate with each other everyday. They talk to their friends, bosses, family members, and coworkers; however, if they don’t say what they mean exactly, it might cause misunderstandings and confusion.
For this reason, the spoken language plays a very important role in conversations. Some people expect directness from others. They consider directness to be honest. On the other hand, some other people prefer to communicate indirectly with each other. They think that if they speak indirectly, they can dispel the tension. These people believe that indirectness is the way to express feelings and opinions politely. If people operate on the same system, directness or indirectness will work very well between these people. I don’t think being direct always means rude. If a situation requires people to be direct, they should speak directly. Otherwise, the situation can lead to misunderstandings. However, some cases might require people to talk indirectly in order not to hurt people’s feelings and in order to encourage people. 

I always expect people to state their opinions or feelings outright. When they don’t make themselves perfectly clear by speaking indirectly, I feel that they are not being honest with me, and I feel cheated by these people. If they talk to me in an indirect way, I think they don’t want to tell the truth. For instance, I went to a party when I came to the U.S., and I met a girl who is a native English speaker. I asked if she would like to give me her number, and she gave it to me. After that, I was interested in hanging out with her, and I asked many times if she would like to go out to do something. However, she always refused my invitations by being indirect. She had excuses when I invited her every time. So I was confused by her attitude because she was very friendly at the party. After a while, I was frustrated by her refusals, and I wanted to know what she meant exactly. Was she really busy, or was she just being polite because she didn't want to refuse my invitation directly? 

Overall, indirectness is more hurtful than directness because when even someone is indirect, you can understand exactly what that person means. So why not be direct instead of indirect when even everyone understands indirectness? I will be much happier if people express themselves outright. Even though I want people to be honest with me, I have never succeeded in being direct with other people because I feel like I hurt people’s feelings.